


Your Hand In Mine

by sherbertglasses



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Academy Era, Angst, Chaptered, Childhood, Childhood Sweethearts, Drama, First Kiss, First Love, Gallifrey, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-08
Updated: 2012-03-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 02:26:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherbertglasses/pseuds/sherbertglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two outcasts meet on Gallifrey and become friends, then lovers, then enemies. This is their story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Love First Met

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from the song by Explosions in The Sky. I really felt the piece reflected the Doctor and The Master's journey.

It was at Otherside that the young Time Lords first met. Both of them yet nameless, uninitiated, and innocent. The young boy of Lungbarrow’s new generation had wandered off, away from his caretaker, during the festivities. At five years old he was precocious and painfully curious. Earlier, his caretaker had joked to his aunts and uncles that she needed a leash for him. He was so much less complacent than the other Timetots. She thought he would grow out of it. He wouldn’t.

The boy found himself in a clearing behind a hill. He could still hear the music and people behind him, but there was no one back here. No one but another boy around his age with dark hair. He was sitting and pulling at the red grass in front of him and sniffling. There were tears drying on his face. This fascinated the boy from Lungbarrow house. He had so rarely seen someone cry other than himself. Whenever he showed too much emotion he would get tuts or looks of scorn from adults and jeers from other children. This boy was wearing different robes than him. He must be from another house. Rather than the orange and reddish robes that the Lungbarrow boy and his cousins wore, this boy wore dark robes. Purple and black with white trim. “Why are you crying?” he asked.

The dark-haired boy sniffed and looked up. “Callya doesn’t want me anymore,” he said.

The other little Time Lord plopped himself down in front of the crying boy. “Who’s Callya?”

The boy across from him sniffed again. “My caretaker. She took me to the big house and they were all looking at me and I haven’t seen her since then. She’s gonna give me away to them! She doesn’t want me ‘cause I’m weak!”

Of course he felt bad for the other boy, but he couldn’t suppress a little smile. Hadn’t anyone explained it to him? Today was the day that all young Time Lords of the new generation were taken from the rearing center to their family households to become acquainted with their kin. “She’s not giving you away,” he said. “She’s just taking you to meet your family. She’ll be back in a little while. My caretaker, Shadra, picked me up a few minutes ago.”

“Really?” the other boy looked hopeful.

“Yeah. She’s probably looking for you right now.”

The other boy smiled. The boy from Lungbarrow’s heart went out to him. (This being his first body, he only had the one heart to give.) Something about this boy was different than the other Time Lords he knew. Different even than the other children. He was sensitive and vulnerable.

They talked and played for hours after that. Then Shadra found them and took the other boy back to his caretaker. The Lungbarrow boy got a stern talking-to about wandering off.

\----------------------------------

It was three years later at initiation that he saw the dark-haired boy again. They recognized each other instantly. “Are you scared?” he asked him.

The dark-haired boy just nodded.

He put a comforting hand on the other boy’s shoulder. The dark-haired boy looked up in surprise at such an intimate gesture. Most Time Lords were cold and reserved. They didn’t like to touch. The moment was lost though, as the dark-haired boy was called.

The elders took him outside. The Lungbarrow boy waited. And waited. When the dark-haired boy came back, something was different. Something had shattered. The Lungbarrow boy felt his stomach churn. Whatever had happened to his friend would be happening to him next.

As the elders ushered him outside, he watched the dark-haired boy being escorted away.

When they arrived at their destination he looked on in fear as the Untempered Schism opened up to him. It was terrifying. It was beautiful. It was horrible. It was everything. The whole of time and space, all possible timelines before his eyes, falling into his head. He wondered if his own psyche would shatter. He screamed. He ran.

When he arrived at Prydonian Academy, he was given a title. Theta Sigma.

\------------------------------

At orientation the next morning, Theta looked for the dark-haired boy. He had been worried about him since initiation. The boy was not there. He sat through the boring speeches and wondered what life would be like for him now. He knew the procedures for a Time Lord’s young life. You’re born, raised at the rearing center until the age of eight, initiated into the academy, then graduate at ninety and join the family house. He had never been inside the academy building before, though. He’d seen it from the yard of the rearing center. Students filing neatly in and out, like drones, on their way to the next scheduled part of their day. He had feared losing his freedom like that.

After orientation, he was shown to his room. There were twelve boys to a room. It was large and cold, with twelve beds evenly spaced. To each bed was a small bedside table, a set of three shelves, and a trunk. Theta hurried to the end of the room, claiming the bed by the massive window. It was the first thing that drew his eye when he’d entered. It dominated the wall, running from three feet off the floor all the way to the cathedral style ceiling. At the very top of the window was painted the seal of Rassilon.

It was three days before he saw the dark haired boy again. The memory would always stand out in his mind. He was lying in bed, waiting fruitlessly for sleep to come to him as it had to the other boys, when he heard the door open. He heard some adults whispering then a small young voice made a single whimper. They ushered the child to the bed across from Theta.

“There’s too many people here,” he heard the boy whisper.

“Shhh,” one of the adults hushed, “It’s time for you to join the other children, Koschei. You’re better enough now.”

“But I can still hear them!” he cried. “You said I wasn’t supposed to hear them!”

Theta heard some of the other boys stir at his outburst.

“Shhh, shhh. Listen. Listen to the other boys breathing. Listen to them talk in the morning. It’ll help to drown it out.”

Koschei started whimpering.

“Now, don’t cry. You have to be strong.”

He sniffled a little. “Strong,” he whispered. Then his mood shifted to a brief wave of petulant anger. “I am strong. Stronger than any of you.”

“Yes, all right. I’ll see you at counseling tomorrow afternoon and we’ll see how you’re doing.”

Theta waited until he was sure the adults were gone, then he climbed out of bed and went over to Koschei. As soon as he saw his face, even in just the moonlight, he recognized him.

“Koschei?” he whispered, “Do you remember me?”

Koschei sat up and looked hard at him. “Y-Yes.”

“My name’s Theta.”

“What do you want?”

Theta was surprised at the question. Koschei seemed wary of him. Something had definitely changed in him. “I just want to talk,” said Theta.

Koschei gave a small smile. “Okay.”

“I’ve been looking for you since I got here. Where have you been?”

Koschei’s face fell again. “They’ve been keeping me in a room. They called it a Zero Room.”

“A Zero Room?”

“Yeah. It’s all white. I can float if I try real hard. They told me it would bring me peace, heal me. They told me it would be quiet.” He looked away distantly. “But it wasn’t quiet. It’s never quiet.” He covered his ears and screwed his eyes shut. “It’s still not quiet!”

Part of Theta was terrified, but mostly his heart just broke for this poor boy. “What do you mean, ‘It’s never quiet’?”

Suddenly Koschei grabbed him by the collar of his nightdress, his eyes wide. “Can’t you hear it? Tell me you can hear it! They say they can’t. They say it’s not really there, but it is. It’s always there. It’s been there since I looked into the Schism.”

“What is it? What’s there?”

“The drumming,” he whispered. “It’s in my head. It won’t stop.” He started to cry. “Why won’t it stop?”

He fell against Theta’s chest and Theta held him as he cried. Eventually they lay down. Koschei’s whimpers died down and they both fell asleep.

And that was how it started. Two outcasts drawn together. Neither of them knew it would end in tragedy.


	2. Oakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theta meets Koschei's father

“Kos?” whispered Theta “Hey, Kos?”

“What?” Koschei whispered back, slightly irritated.

“What did you get for number sixteen?”

“I thought you said you studied!”

“I did, just not what Borusa asked us to study.”

Koschei rolled his eyes, but Theta could tell he was suppressing a smile. “Loop quantum gravity,” he finally answered.

“I’m not going to count that answer.” said a heavy voice behind them. They looked up to see Professor Borusa staring down disapprovingly at them.

“But I knew it, Professor, I swear,” Theta pleaded. “I just get loop quantum gravity and quantum string mechanics mixed up sometimes. I was just making sure.”

Borusa looked skeptical. “The point of this test is to prove that you know the difference between the physical forces of the universe. If you get them mixed up, you wont pass the test. I’m not counting the answer.”

Theta pouted, which was acceptable as he was only twelve.

“Serves you right for not studying,” Koschei teased.

“I’m not counting your answer either,” said Borusa.

“What?!”

“You gave him the answer. I consider it a lenient punishment for both of you.”

Ushas snickered in front of them as Borusa walked away. “Shut up, Ushas!” Koschei hissed. He glared at Borusa at the front of the class. “Someday I’ll be his boss. Then we’ll see who makes the rules,” he grumbled.

Theta smiled, “You say that about everybody. You can’t be everybody’s boss.”

“And why not? The President is everybody’s boss.”

“Even the President has to answer to the High Council.”

“Quiet,” Borusa warned gently.

 

“Are you going to Lungbarrow for Omega Day weekend?” Koschei asked when they got out of class.

“No,” said Theta. “My uncle said he doesn’t want me there this year.”

“What?! Why?”

“Oh, you know none of them ever liked me. I guess they just decided to stop pretending.”

“That’s disgusting,” said Koschei. “Hey, maybe you could come to my house! I’m sure my father wouldn’t mind.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Wait ‘til you see our land. It’s at the foothills of the mountain, and there’s a big mara tree right in the yard. Sweetest maras you’ll ever taste!”

“It sounds brilliant!” Theta was very excited at the prospect of spending the long weekend with Koschei’s family. The Oakdown chapterhouse was the most prestigious house on Gallifrey. Most of it’s members claimed to be direct descendants of Rassilon.

\-------------------------------

Three days later they arrived at Oakdown house. Koschei’s father greeted his son with a hand on his shoulder and a smile. A commonly acceptable family greeting for Time Lords. “My son. I hear you’ve been getting high marks!”

“Yes, father.”

“That’s my boy.”

Theta watched this with a twinge of jealousy. He had no parents. His mother and father died when he was a baby. When he asked, they told him it was a TARDIS accident. When he asked what they were like, no one would tell him anything more. Most of the family avoided him. He’d only ever really had contact with his Uncle Modrem, who was the head of the house. His uncle had never touched him, even something so simple as a hand on his shoulder. He’d never smiled at him. Even as a child, he could tell his uncle detested him. Nothing was ever said, but he could see the way his face soured when he looked at him. The only person in his family that had ever shown him love was his caretaker, Shadra, who raised him before he entered the academy. He didn’t get to see her much anymore. She had other children to care for now.

When Koschei’s father’s smiling face turned to Theta, something flickered in his eyes, something similar to the way his uncle looked at him, but it happened so quickly that Theta could have imagined it, then he had a smile on his face once more and was shaking Theta’s hand. “And you must be Theta Sigma,” he said. “My son talks about you all the time. I hear you’ve been getting him into some trouble.”

“Um, no sir! I mean, yes sir. Sometimes.”

He chuckled. “That’s alright. Better to get it out of your system now, so you can grow to be respectable Time Lords. Call me Sestrin.”

 

At the dinner table that evening, they talked about studies, then to Theta’s surprise the conversation turned to politics. He knew that Koschei’s father had a seat on the High Council, so certainly he would expect him to discuss the topic with his friends and colleagues, but as a twelve year old child he had absolutely nothing to add to the conversation. Theta was again surprised to hear that Koschei had so much to say on the subject. Kos had never discussed politics with him. He suddenly felt himself feeling as invisible as he did at his own family gatherings. “…so, I’m a shoe-in for Castilan. But, Theta,” Sestrin added. “Your uncle Formrin has his eye on the position as well, doesn’t he?”

Theta was vaguely aware he had an uncle on the council. “I’m not sure. He might.”

Tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap

“Well he has some very left-leaning ideas.”

Tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap

“I don’t know if he has what it--”

Tap-tap-tap-tap

“Son!”

Koschei stopped tapping.

“What did I tell you about that rhythm in my house?” said Sestrin through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry father.”

“He just does it unconsciously,” Theta defended him.

“Well then, he’d better become more conscious of it, now hadn’t he?” he said with a false cheer and a plastered smile. “Right, son? Remember what we talked about?”

“Yes, sir.”

“But it’s bound to happen sometimes,” Theta continued. “What with that rhythm in his head all the--”

“There is nothing in my son’s head!” Sestrin shouted.

Everyone was silent. Koschei had his eyes closed and Theta felt terribly that he had humiliated him.

“Now,” said Sestrin after a moment, another false smile plastered on his face, “I think it’s time you boys went to bed.”

 

“I’m sorry, Kos,” said Theta later in Koschei’s room. Theta was lying on a cot set up next to Koschei’s bed.

“It’s alright,” said Koschei. “My father doesn’t like to talk about the drumming. He likes to pretend it doesn’t exist.”

“I didn’t know you knew so much about politics,” said Theta, changing the subject.

“My father talks about it so much, I just picked it up. He hasn’t told anyone yet, but he has ambitions for the presidency. He says you have to aim for one star at a time, so he’s just focusing on becoming Castilan right now.”

“Oh.”

“He’s wrong, though,” Koschei said suddenly. He turned his head toward the window and the night sky. “Why not aim for all the stars?”

Theta smiled wide. “Yeah. All the stars. I’m gonna see ’em, Kos! As soon as I grow up and get my TARDIS license, I’m gonna see every star in the universe.”

Koschei laughed. “That would take all your thirteen lives. And you still wouldn’t have seen them all!”

“Well, I can try! I want to see all the times and places there are to see.”

“We could be masters of the universe.”

“I was thinking more like tourists.”

“Pfft, where’s the fun in that?”

“I think it would be a lot of fun.”

“We’ll see,” mumbled Koschei sleepily.

“Yeah,” said Theta, closing his eyes. “Someday.”


	3. Who You Are

They ran through the field, trying to catch each other, laughing. At forty years old, the boys would look no more than thirteen to a human. Koschei tackled Theta and they rolled through the grass until they tired out.

“Kos?” Theta asked as they lay on the ground, staring up at the sky, “What’s your true name?”

“I can’t tell you that!” he said shocked. “You know that.”

“You can say it under special circumstances,” said Theta.

“Yeah, if you’re about to die. Our names have power. There’s a reason we can’t say them.”

“I heard that you can say them if you get married sometimes.”

“But we’re not married.”

“But we could be. Someday. I wouldn’t want to spend my lives with anyone else.”

Koschei blushed. “Boys can’t marry each other. You have to marry the mate selected for you by your house, so you can loom a well bred baby.”

“But why?” asked Theta. “On other planets they marry because they love each other. I love you, Koschei.”

Koschei flushed even hotter and sat up. “Why would you say something like that?!”

Theta sat up and looked at him. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought you loved me too.”

“Well, I…” he looked away. “I do. …but you can’t just say it.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not proper.”

Theta laughed. “When have we ever cared about being proper?”

“Well, yeah but… Just don’t say it again, okay?”

Theta was hurt. Why not say it if you feel it? “Okay,” he agreed.

\-----------------------------

“What do you have planned this year?” asked Drax when he caught up to them in the halls.

“What do you mean?” asked Koschei.

“Well, you guys always pull something at the end of the school year,” he said as if it were obvious.

“How do you know it’s us?” asked Theta.

Drax scoffed. “Oh come on, everyone knows it’s you.”

“No one ever has any proof,” said Koschei calmly.

“Yeah,” said Drax. “But it _is_ you right?”

“Who knows,” said Koschei. “All I can say is that this year, something more epic than last year is going to happen.”

“Alright!” squealed Drax and he ran to tell his friends.

“Hey Kos?” whispered Theta, “What _are_ we going to do this year?”

Koschei just smiled.

\---------------------------------

“Hurry,” whispered Koschei.

“I am,” hissed Theta. “This…jiggery pokery is not as easy as I make it look.” He touched two more wires together and heard a click. “Got it!”

“Get in! Get in!”

They hurried through the door to the office of the Interplanetary Animal Preserve and closed it behind them.

“Let’s let the Aranosaur out first,” said Koschei. “That’ll freak out those stuffy councilmen.”

Theta looked out the window that overlooked the preserve. All those animals from all those times and places fidgeting in their cages in captivity. “Let’s let them all out,” he said.

“Oh, yeah that’s a great idea!” said Koschei thinking of all those people running and screaming.

Theta ran over to the control console and helped Koschei push all the buttons. There were screeches and roars as the animals ran out of the preserve. The boys laughed and ran out of the office.

\------------------------

“You’ve pulled some stunts before, but this? Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? People could have been killed.”

“Where’s Koschei?” Theta asked the Dean of Prydonian Academy.

“His father is dealing with him,” answered the Dean.

Theta felt a pit of dread in his stomach. He knew how Kos’s father was when he embarrassed him. He should dread for himself as well. The Dean had never liked him. In fact, Theta suspected he hated him.

“You should be expelled for this,” he said.

“Sir, I-“

“Silence! I never should have accepted you into the academy to begin with, considering your breeding. You’re lucky your uncle is a powerful man.”

Theta was puzzled. His breeding? Lungbarrow house was one of the two most prestigious families on Gallifrey along with Oakdown.

“Excuse me, sir, what do you mean by that?”

“Of course,” he said with a sick delight in his voice, “You don’t know. How much do you know about your father?”

“Just that he and my mother died in a TARDIS accident.”

The Dean chuckled darkly. “Your father did not die.”

“What?!” Theta was shocked.

“Well, he might be dead by now. Not many can survive out there.”

“Out where? What are you talking about?!”

“Your father was banished.”

“You’re lying,” said Theta, feeling like he was ready to cry.

“Oh, am I? Ask your uncle.”

“What was he banished for?”

“He was banished because of your mother. Because of you.”

“No,” tears were starting to sting his eyes.

“Your deviant father fornicated with a lower lifeform, with a human woman. Then of course we had to bring her to Gallifrey. We couldn’t let the bastard child of a formerly respected Time Lord go un-dealt with. They decided to genetically alter the fetus so there was no more human DNA in it. Of couse, the procedure caused complications with the birth. The woman did not survive. But you did. You were born and continue to be a stain on Time Lord society.”

“You’re lying!” shouted Theta through his tears. “That can’t be true! It can’t be!”

“Really? Haven’t you always felt different? Haven’t you always known, deep down, that you didn’t belong here?”

“Someone would have told me.”

“Why would they? It’s the greatest shame your family has ever faced. Why wouldn’t they just try to forget it? Besides, only a handful of your aunts and uncles know.”

“How do you know then?”

“I wasn’t always a dean. I used to be a doctor. I helped deliver you.”

“Why are you telling me all this?!”

“Because maybe if you know where your bad behavior comes from, you can control it. See, I think there’s still human in you. I think all your troublemaking comes from the savagery of Earth still in your bones.”

Just then, his uncle Modrem came in. “What is this?” he said. “What are these tears for?”

“Is it true?” asked Theta. “Am I half human?”

Modrem glared at the Dean fiercely. “You told him?!”

“So it is true!”

“Go wait for me in the auto,” said his uncle without looking at him.

“But-“

“Go!”

Theta ran out of the building and into the garage. He sat in the auto crying. All his life, the way people looked at him, why his cousins wouldn’t play with him, why he never felt like he belonged anywhere… this was why. He didn’t know what to do with himself. The Dean was sending him home with his uncle until he decided if he could return to the academy, but could he really go home? Could he really stay in that house with uncles and aunts who had lied to him all his life? He didn’t belong anywhere. If he could fly a TARDIS he could go to Earth and see if he fit in better there, but he wasn’t human either. They’d probably reject him too. He could try to find his father, if he was still alive. They could live in the forests of Mount Perdition. His uncle got into the auto next to him. “Uncle, I-“

“We will not speak of this again,” he said tersely.

Theta held in his tears all the way back to Lungbarrow house.


	4. Like Father, Like Son

“You’ve embarrassed me for the last time,” bellowed Sestrin as Koschei looked down at the floor. “You could have been expelled for this! How am I supposed to look my fellow councilmen in the eye when they know what my boy’s been up to?! It’s your fault I wasn’t elected Castilan!”

“I’m sorry, father.”

“It’s that Theta Sigma. He put you up to it. He must have.”

“No, sir. I-“

“Yes he did!” he screamed. “You know, I’ve heard things about that boy. I heard his father was banished. Like father, like son, I assume. He’ll get himself banished for something eventually, and if you’re not careful, he’ll take you with him! You’re not to see him anymore do you understand?”

The thought appalled Koschei. He couldn’t imagine life without Theta. A life of loneliness and subservience to his father. A life with only the sound of the drums to keep him company. He could feel the drums growing louder in his head at the thought of it, as if they were sounding out a victory. Louder and louder and louder. “No!” he shouted.

His father stared at him. “What did you just say to me?”

It was now. This was where he had to draw the line and finally make a stand to his father. “I said no.”

“What?!”

“I won’t stop seeing Theta! He’s my best friend. He’s my only friend!”

His father stared hard at him as if he could not believe what had just happened. “How dare you. How dare you oppose me! You are not in charge in this house! I am! I am your father, and you will obey me.”

He crouched down so he was at Koschei’s level. “Now, you listen to me. That boy is not your friend. You don’t need friends. You have ambition. You could be president someday if you focus. Friends breed loyalties and love. Those are weaknesses.”

“You have friends,” Koschei argued. “They come over all the time.”

“I have colleagues and people with connections who I’m friendly to, to help further my goals. Not friends. Never friends. If you get into that territory, it becomes harder to drop them when they’re no longer useful. We don’t have friends, understand? We have pawns, because life is a chessboard and you have to be the king.”

“In chess, the king would be helpless without the queen,” whispered Koschei.

“Then be both!” Sestrin shouted. “Why do you think I got rid of your mother?”

“You… You what?”

“I mean, when she died. It was a relief when she passed was all.”

“Did… Did you kill her?”

“Oh, my son… My dear, dear son,” he patted Koschei’s face. “You’re a clever boy. You know the answer to that.”

Koschei was horrified. Could his father have possibly killed his mother? He was clever and powerful. He could get away with it if he did. He knew his mother passed quite suddenly, of a strange illness. She had died within a few days of contracting it, before the doctors could identify it. There hadn’t been a murder on Gallifrey for over a millennia, or so the government said.

“Now go to your room,” said his father. “You’re to be confined there for the rest of the school break for what you’ve done. No food for two weeks. I’ll have the help send up some water in a couple days.”

Koschei was so consumed by his ponderings that he simply complied. That night he lay in his bed, trying to hold back tears and wishing Theta was there to talk to.

The next day Koschei paced his room thinking about what he knew of his mother’s last days. She was a botanist. She had been working on studying the flora of a small planet known as Sol 3 (Earth, to the more sentimental). From his studies he knew that over time the descendants of that planet grew to infest the Milky Way and its three nearest galaxies like a plague. What other plagues did that planet carry and had his mother simply caught one or had his father harnessed it to kill her? Whatever it was, it was powerful. If a Time Lord got sick enough, they would regenerate, but she did not. How would he solve this? He didn’t know much about his mother’s habits. She died while he was still at the rearing center.

When his father left for a council meeting three days later, he picked the lock on his door and snuck down to the basement to look at his mother’s old things. They were in no way organized, which surprised Koschei, since his father was almost tyrannical about the cleanliness and organization of the house. Unfortunately there was no way to tell what his mother had been working on last, so he just read through all the books and looked at all the notes he could find. He was down there for hours. He didn’t know how long it had been when he heard footsteps behind him.

“Do you know how long we have been looking for you?” It was one of the servants.

“Please don’t tell my father where you found me!” he begged.

“I can’t promise anything,” he said.

When the servant brought him upstairs he looked up at his father’s furious red face. “Where did you find him,” he asked the servant.

“Sir, he was only-“

“Tell me or I’ll lock you in the catacombs!”

“He was in the basement, sir.”

“What was he doing?”

“Looking through his mother’s old things, sir.”

“Take him to his room. I want someone watching his door at all times.”

 

Koschei watched from his window as his father had the servants throw his mother’s things into a bonfire in the yard. He swore that someday he would find out what happened to his mother and he would make his father pay.


	5. The Daisiest Daisy

Theta woke up to silence. He always missed the chattering of the other boys when he woke up at home. Not home; Lungbarrow house. It had never felt like home. It felt even less so now. Yesterday he had learned that his parents had not been who he thought they were. He got up and went downstairs to find the house empty. He made himself some breakfast, then headed out to the garden. It was the only place at Lungbarrow house that he ever felt some semblance of peace. He wandered through the rose bushes avoiding the thorns. Roses were the only flower in the universe that grew on multiple planets in multiple systems naturally. Some say it was because, in the early days of the Time Lords, when the rest of the universe was in its infancy, one Time Lord planted them on every planet he visited because they were his favorite. Theta leant down and inhaled one. Whatever sadness was in his life, Theta found that it was much easier to bear if you always made time for smelling flowers. He looked up at the first morning sun. The second one was still rising over the mountains. He could see the old monk sitting under the tree on the hill beyond the yard. That monk had been there for as long as he could remember. Theta had never spoken to him, but he’d always wondered about him. He had decided last night that he was going to try and find his father. He had stolen a map of the citadel from the records room in the library. It was one of the few that existed that included the layout of the tunnels underneath the city. Lungbarrow had it because one of its first members had helped design the citadel. He went back up to his rooms and put on his heaviest robes, packed some food and a knife in a satchel and headed out.

When he’d finally snuck his way into the tunnels, he found them empty as expected. They were dank and wet and they smelled of things Theta didn’t want to think about, but if he found his father alive it would be worth it. He came to a grate that lead into the forest. It was easily removed. When he walked out into the world outside the dome the first thing he noticed was the air. It was much colder and drier. Breathing in it stung his throat. The wind whipped his face, but he noticed that it did something else as well. As it blew through the silver-leafed trees, it made them sing. It was beautiful. He listened for a moment, then he headed into the forest and up the mountain.

Theta had been walking for hours. He was tired, his legs hurt, his throat was sore and it was becoming harder to breathe. To his right was a rose bush. He thought perhaps the smell of one of the flowers would reinvigorate him, but as he approached the bush, it rustled. He backed up and out of the bush walked a wolf. It must have been one of the animals he and Koschei had freed. He froze, afraid it would pounce. It didn’t, though. It just looked at him. He looked back into its golden eyes and felt sure it would not hurt him. Then, suddenly, something attracted its attention and it scampered away. Theta let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He looked around to try and get a bearing on where he was and saw a column of smoke rising from the treetops in the distance. A cabin? He followed it. After about fifteen minutes, he arrived at the cabin. He stopped outside. Was his father inside or was it someone else who had been banished? He gathered up all his strength and knocked. The door swung open a crack. “Hello?” called Theta.

He entered cautiously and saw a disheveled man sitting in a rocking chair facing away from him in front of the fire. “Hello, my name is Theta.” No answer. “I’m looking for my father.” The man looked up at that, but didn’t look around at Theta. “He was banished forty years ago for mating with a-“

“Rrrraaaaaaaaaah!” The man suddenly got up and began throwing things, anything he could get his hands on, at Theta. “Get out! Go away! You did this! It’s all your fault! Leave me alone!”

Theta didn’t hear anymore because he was running, running away from that house, from that man that might have been his father, down the mountain, through the forest, through the tunnels and back to Lungbarrow. He ran into the garden and dropped to the ground crying. He cried for a long time, cried his lungs out. When he was done, when he was out of breath, he looked up to the hill behind his house. The monk was still there. Maybe it was because he felt so lost now, but he decided it was time to talk to him and he set out across the yard for the hill.

When he arrived the monk did not react to him. He just continued to meditate. Theta wondered whether he should disturb him. After a moment the monk spoke without opening his eyes. “You seem troubled, young Time Lord.”

“Yes,” he breathed. “Yes I am.”

The monk opened his eyes and looked at Theta expectantly.

“What’s your name?” Theta asked.

“K’anpo,” he answered. He said nothing else, just looked at Theta, waiting.

Theta didn’t know why, but he felt very comfortable talking to this monk, this hermit. Perhaps it was because he was a stranger and he felt like he had nothing to prove. Perhaps because the old hermit seemed like he had the answer to anything and everything, but Theta didn’t mind sharing with him even this most private problem. “I found out yesterday, that I’m not who I thought I was,” he said. The hermit didn’t respond, just listened. “I’m not a Time Lord,” he continued. “I’m half human. My mother was human. My father was banished because of me. My mother died because of me. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know where I belong. I guess I’ve never known where I belonged. Not at home, not at school, not with my family, not on this whole stupid planet! I’ve been wondering if I would belong on Earth, but I’m not really human either. I’m more Time Lord than I am human, genetically, but I don’t feel like the rest of them. In my soul, in my heart, I feel different. I’ve always felt different. I want to visit Earth and see if they’ll accept me, but I’m scared. What if they don’t? What if I don’t belong anywhere? I went to find my father. I wanted him to love me like my uncle never did, but he hated me! He hated me even more than my uncle! I don’t know what my life means anymore or where I’m supposed to go or what I’m supposed to do! So, can you tell me? What does my life mean? What is it for?”

The monk was silent for a moment, then he lifted his withered hand and pointed. Theta followed his finger to see a little flower, a weed, growing out of a crack in the grey, cold rocks all around them. Then suddenly he felt the monk’s mind nudging his. He’d never experienced contact before, his psychic powers were not sophisticated enough to initiate it. He let the monk into the forefront of his mind and suddenly he saw the flower as K’anpo saw it. It wasn’t just a little weed, small and unimportant. It was life. It was so alive. It swirled with all the colors of the universe. Its roots reached down into the dirt under the rocks. It drew nutrients from the ground that before had seemed so barren, but it was not barren. It was teeming with life. Microbacteria, and worms, and bugs, and water, and roots. And the rocks were filled with minerals that enhanced the soil and water. Everything was so alive! Everything had so much hope and promise. That was the meaning of life. It was life itself. Even death was a part of life and the dead things fed the growth of new life. He felt the monk’s mind leave his and he realized there were tears on his face. He laughed. Then he laughed harder and he heard the monk join in with him. He knew he would never look at the universe the same way again. Everything was so much more beautiful than it was before because he was seeing it properly now. So, he didn’t come from two Time Lords. So, his father was a crazy old man. So what? He was alive. In fact he was more alive than he’d ever been.

“You are unique, young Time Lord,” he heard the monk say. “Not many of our kind are willing to open their minds to that kind of beauty. Embrace what you are. Cherish it. It gives you a perspective no other Time Lord has. I think you are destined for great things.”

Theta and the K’anpo talked for hours after that and when Theta went home, he felt more hope for the future than he ever had before.


	6. The Deca

Through pure diplomacy, Modrem had been able to get Theta accepted back into the academy. When Theta and Koschei found each other in the courtyard upon arriving back at school, they both had secrets that, for the first time, they didn’t wish to share with each other.

“How was your dad about our end of the year stunt?” asked Theta.

“I was confined to my room for the break,” said Koschei.

“I’m sorry.”

After a moment Koschei added, “He doesn’t want me to see you anymore.”

It hit Theta like a shot through the heart. “Are going to-?”

“No!” Koschei said quickly. “I don’t care what he says. I’m never leaving you.”

Theta was immensely relieved and he knew it showed. He hugged Koschei.

Koschei was shocked and dropped his books. “Th-Theta! What are you doing?”

“I’m hugging you.” He said without letting go.

“Well, stop. We’re in public!”

Theta laughed and let him go.

“What’s wrong with you?” asked Koschei. “You’ve always been… sentimental, but this is a bit much.”

“The most wonderful thing happened to me over the break! I met this old monk and, oh Kos, the things he taught me! I’ll never look at the universe the same way again!”

“What exactly has he been teaching you?”

“Life, Kos. He showed me this flower, and the way he made me see it… Oh, it was the most flowery flower I’ve ever seen!”

Koschei stared at him for a moment, then he said, “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

Theta gave him an exasperated look. “Fine. Don’t listen to me. But you’re missing out.”

“As long as you’re happy,” said Koschei.

“I’m surprised to see you two” they heard a voice say next to them.

“Hello, Vansell,” Theta sneered.

“I can’t believe they let you back in after last year’s fiasco.”

“Oh, I’m sure you were hoping they wouldn’t,” said Koschei. “I’m sure you were hoping to get a nice gold star for turning us in.”

“Who said I tuned you in,” he said, shifting uncomfortably.

“Who else would it be?” said Theta. “You’re the biggest rat in school.”

“Well, at least I’m not the biggest disgrace,” he huffed and walked swiftly away.

Theta and Koschei rolled their eyes and headed to class.

***********

They were sitting in the library studying later that day. Well, Koschei was studying. “You know you wouldn’t have to copy off me all the time if you just read what you were supposed to”

Theta looked up from his book. “Hm?”

Koschei sighed. “What is that, anyway?”

“Earth literature,” said Theta, burying his nose back in the book. “I asked the librarian what, in her opinion was the best Earth story, and she said, she’d heard that most Humans considered William Shakespeare to be Earth’s greatest writer, so I’m reading him. This one is called Much Ado About Nothing.”

“Why the sudden interest in Earth literature?” asked Koschei.

“No reason,” Theta shrugged.

Koschei looked at him skeptically. “It’s a primitive planet.”

“I don’t think so,” said Theta. ”By the end of known time, they’d accomplished more and explored more than any other species.”

Koschei snorted. “In most people’s opinion, they did more infesting than exploring. Just some stupid little apes with ambitions beyond their station.”

“Don’t talk about them like that!” Theta snapped.

Koschei was surprised. Why was he taking it so personally? “Sorry,” he said. “Why do you care so much?”

Theta looked back at his book. “Call it a hobby.”

“Hey, Thete, Kos,” It was Drax, followed by six other students. They all joined them at the long table.

“Please don’t call me ‘Thete’,” asked Theta.

“And he’s the only one who gets to call me Kos,” said Koschei, nodding towards Theta.

“Fine, sorry,” said Drax. “Look, we were all really impressed with your freeing the animals last year.”

“You were?”

“Yeah”

“Even you, Ushas?” asked Koschei, eyeing her.

“As annoying as you two can be,” she said, “You have ambition and you think outside the parameters you’re given, and that’s more than I can say for anyone else here.”

“We propose an alliance,” said Magnus.

“Don’t make it sound so dramatic, Mags,” said Drax. “It’s not a war or something.” He turned back to the two young Time Lords. “We were thinking we should start a group. Renegade Time Lords!”

“What would this group do?” asked Theta.

“Meddle in things!” said Mortimus excitedly.

“Don’t be stupid,” Ushas scoffed. “We would advance our society in ways none of these dregs could ever think of.”

“I like that,” said Theta.

“For instance,” said Ushas, “I’ve been experimenting with one of the birds you let out. I’ve found a way to augment and control its brain.”

“That’s disgusting!” cried Theta.

“Fine. No animal testing, then.”

“Good, yes,” said Theta, “I think we should make that the first rule.”

“We just think you guys are really cool,” said Millennia.

“I like this idea,” said Koschei. “With our intelligence and creativity, we could do so much!”

“Alright then,” said Theta, “Then I call to order the first meeting of the… the, uh, The Nine! Oh, no, that’s terrible isn’t it? We’ll have to think of a better name.”

“Maybe something in another language!” said Drax.

“Yeah!” said Theta.

Koschei watched Theta discuss the name of the group with Drax. Then he leaned over to Ushas. “Tell me more about this bird.”


	7. First Kiss

When Theta and Koschei turned sixty-five (the Gallifreyan equivalent of sixteen) they were moved to the dorms. Dorms were for students sixty-five and older. They contained two beds and two chests of drawers. Most of the faculty wanted to separate Theta and Koschei, but the Deca (which is what they decided to call their group after Vansell joined) caused an uproar on their behalf and got 3000 signatures on a petition to let them choose their roommates. In the face of pure democracy, the school board was powerless, so Theta and Koschei got to live together.

“I call this bed!” said Theta, jumping into the bed on the left.

“Yes, I call that a bed as well. Well done.” Koschei teased and Theta rolled his eyes. “They look exactly the same. What’s so special about that one?”

“It’s by the window,” he answered as if it were obvious.

Koschei just smiled and shook his head. “You will never grow up, will you?”

“I staunchly refuse,” said Theta with a smile. For the past twenty years that smile had been making Koschei’s stomach do odd flips. He, as always, did his best to ignore it.

“Stuck in Neverland,” said Koschei with a sigh.

“Ah-ha!” cried Theta. “You do like Earth literature!”

“Some,” admitted Koschei. “I like The Once and Future King, Sun Tzu’s Art of War, and Ayn Rand makes some lovely points, but I only read Peter Pan because Millennia said it reminded her of you.”

“She said that? …What else did she say?”

Koschei dropped one of the books he was unpacking particularly hard. “Why don’t you just admit you like her?!”

“I never said that,” said Theta defensively. “Why are you so upset anyway? …Oh” he smiled. “Do you like her? If you like her I’ll back-“

“I DO NOT… like that horrid, saccharine sweet girl.”

“…Okay. Sorry.”

They sat in silence for a while, then began awkwardly unpacking their things.

*******

Theta had made a few attempts to make conversation throughout the day, but Koschei was terse and he eventually decided to leave him alone and let him cool off. When Koschei saw Theta leaving class with Millennia, laughing and smiling, he cursed his own tendency to hold grudges over small things. He was angry at Theta. The way he smiled at Millennia made his blood boil. That smile was for him and only him. How dare he flash it at her? Theta was his! Koschei stomped off to the library to study.

He stared at his book, realizing he’d read the same sentence twenty-five times, but still had not absorbed it. All he could think about was Theta with Millennia. Laughing with her, flashing her that beautiful smile, subtly touching her. What if he kissed her? No, no, no. Time Lords didn’t do that sort of thing. Except he wanted to. He wanted to kiss Theta. But it wasn’t proper, so he didn’t. But Theta never cared about propriety and, if he was honest with himself, he didn’t either. He decided to give up on studying and go to the gardens.

As he sat on the stone bench contemplating his problem, he heard Theta come up behind him. He knew it was Theta without looking. He always knew. He sat down on the bench beside Koschei.

“I was talking with Millennia.”

Koschei screwed his eyes shut. “That’s nice.”

“She said I was thick. She’s right too. She knew exactly why you were upset, but I was too stupid to see it.”

Koschei looked up. “Oh?”

“She’s just a friend,” said Theta sincerely. “I told you this when we were young and I know you told me never to say it again, but it seems you need reminding.”

Koschei looked at him questioningly.

“I love you,” said Theta. “Just you.”

Koschei’s heart skipped a beat and he tried not to hate himself for it. Theta took his hand and pressed something into it. He looked to his open palm to see a thimble.

“It’s a kiss,” said Theta. “I thought… because, Peter Pan…”

“I know what it’s from,” said Koschei. “And I can do you one better.”

“Yeah?”

Koschei grabbed Theta’s head and kissed him hard. It was awkward. They bumped noses and their teeth clashed, but then it settled into comfortable. It was the first kiss for both of them and as first kisses go, it was pretty perfect.

“That was…” Theta breathed. “That was n-nice.”

“Yeah.”

“It was better than what I’ve read about.”

“I know.”

“Can we do it again?”

“Definitely, “ said Koschei. “But let’s go back to our room.”

“O-Okay,” said Theta nervously.

“Just for kissing!” said Koschei quickly.

“Oh. Okay.”

The boys went back up to their dorm room and for the first time in a long time, they fell asleep in the same bed.


	8. The Medusa Cascade

“Well?” asked Koschei.

“I failed,” Theta replied disappointed.

“Again?! Theta, you’re ninety years old! If you don’t pass your TARDIS exam, you’re never going to graduate.”

“I know! I mean, I thought I flew alright. Yes, the ride was a little bumpy…and I landed one year off, but it was only one year! That’s way better than last time!”

“You weren’t even in the right galaxy or century the first time.”

“Nobody passes on their first try.”

“I did. And nobody takes eight tries at all.”

“Alright, don’t rub it in.”

“Maybe I can give you some lessons, come on.”

*******

“Alright. Where do you want to go?” asked Koschei as they stood in the control room of his father’s TARDIS. “Someplace simple.”

“Um…. Earth,” said Theta.

Koschei rolled his eyes. “I said simple, not primitive.”

Theta glared at him.

“Alright, fine. Galactic year?”

“I don’t know,” Theta thought. “You pick.”

“Okay.” He came and stood behind him. He pointed to the console. “These are the time-space indicators. Set it for Earth, galactic year, um, 50,000,000,000.1569.”

Theta set the controls.

“Now twist that knob to the right.” Theta reached. “No, not that one. Here.” Koschei curled around him and, more slowly than necessary, twisted the right knob.

“Now that’s the oldest trick in the book,” Theta smiled slyly.

“What’s that?” Koschei feigned ignorance still wrapped around Theta.

“Trying to get into my pants under the guise of teaching me something.”

“I don’t need a guise to get into your pants.” He moved his lips to Theta’s ear. “Now hush or I’ll have you right here on the console.” He thrusted his hips into Theta’s arse and casually walked to the other side of the console.

Theta shivered with delight. He loved the way Koschei took control. They had started having sex twenty years ago. They’d been all over each other since then. Theta smiled. “Now the ignition?”

“What? No! The stabilizers. No wonder your ride was bumpy.”

“Which ones are the stabilizers?”

Koschei rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. “The blue buttons there.”

Theta pushed them. Twisted the quantum gyro-guidance flangilator, and cranked the ignition.

“Gently!” shouted Koschei as the consol room tipped. “We’ll rip through the vortex at this rate!”

Theta eased the leavers back until they were gently floating in the time vortex.

“Well now you’ve eased them back to much. We’re not going anywhere now.”

“I’m trying, alright!”

Koschei sighed and went to adjust the controls, but before he could the TARDIS heaved and they both fell to the smooth black floor. “What did you touch?!”

“Nothing!” Theta said defensively. Then the room began shaking.

Koschei got up and raced to the controls. “Something’s pulling us out of the vortex!” Suddenly there was a tremendous lurch and they were floating in space. “Where are we?”

Theta went to the monitor. “Oh my.”

“What?”

“It’s beautiful!”

Koschei came over to look. “The Medusa Cascade.”

“I’ve seen it in books and videos, but I can’t believe we’re actually here.” Theta hit the door controls and ran to the doors proper.

“Theta no!”

“I just want to see it in person!”

“Theta the council said they detected a…” he trailed off, gazing out the doors with Theta. It really was beautiful. He shook his head. “Theta, the council said they detected a rift here. It’s probably what pulled us off course.”

“Why haven’t they done anything about it yet?”

“Well, it’s not fully opened yet. They’re having a meeting on what to do about it next week.”

“Bureaucracy,” Theta sighed. “What if something-” There was a huge CRACK and then, right in front of their eyes it looked as if space itself was splitting in two. “What if something like that happens?!” Theta shouted.

“Get to the door controls!” Koschei shouted over the roar of the rift. They couldn’t tell if things were being sucked in or spewed out.  
Theta ran for the controls, but Koschei lost his footing and was sucked out of the safety of the TARDIS. “KOSCHEI!!!”

Theta panicked. A Time Lord can survive in the vacuum of space without air for only five minutes. And it might take even less time than that for Koschei to be sucked into the rift. He thought quickly. He fetched an oxygen mask from the emergency cabinet and tied the length of bungee cord around his waist. He ran for the door and jumped out. The inertia sent him moving faster than Koschei had been, but with the pull of the rift, he was afraid he still might not reach him. Reaching out he felt that Koschei was just at his fingertips when in truth he was a few yards away, he watched him flail as he drew closer to the rift. Very suddenly the rift switched gears from sucking to expelling and Koschei’s body, now limp, hit Theta like a ton of bricks as they were pushed back towards the TARDIS. Just before they reached the door the temperamental rift switched back to pulling things in, but Theta grabbed the doorframe and pulled himself and Koschei back into the TARDIS. Crawling back in, Theta ran to the controls and closed the doors. He rushed to Koschei’s side. “Kos! Kos! Wake up, please!”

He wasn’t breathing. Theta lifted one of his eyelids and saw that all the blood vessels in his eyes had burst. Suddenly his skin began to glow and golden particles wafted from his body. “No,” whispered Theta. He stood back. _This can’t be happening_ , he thought. _He’s only ninety years old! We’re just kids! This shouldn’t happen until he’s at least three-hundred!_ The glow burst out in beams from all his limbs. It only lasted about thirty seconds, but it felt like an eternity to Theta. He’d never seen anyone regenerate before. He approached the still body and looked it over. He looked so much older. He looked somewhere between a hundred-and-fifty to two-hundred. His hair was still dark brown, but he had a beard. He was slightly too big for his robes. Suddenly his eyes popped open and he was screaming. Theta dropped down and gathered him in his arms. “Shh, shh. It’s okay. I’m here.” Theta realized at the choke in his voice that he was crying. He buried his tear-stained face in Koschei’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“What’s happened?!” said Koschei. He didn’t recognize his own voice. He didn’t feel right in his body. “Theta, what’s happened to me?!”

The TARDIS shook violently as it was dragged toward the rift. Theta didn’t want to let go of his Koschei. He wanted to hold him until everything was alright, but he knew he had to close the rift somehow. He kissed Koschei’s face and ran to the base of the console. He may not fly a TARDIS very well but he knew the wiring of every model inside and out.

“Theta don’t Leave me!” shouted Koschei.

“I’m sorry. I have to. I have to close the rift and get us out of here!”

“Theta!”

It hurt to ignore the cries of his love, but he did. He connected wires and pulled others out in an attempt to rig something up that would close the rift, but when he looked up at the monitor he saw that they were too close. He didn’t have time. He went to the doors and opened them. What could he do? Then an idea began to form in the back of his mind. On impulse he jumped out of the TARDIS. The cord was still wrapped around his waist, but he didn’t have the oxygen mask anymore, which gave him only five minutes to do this if he could. He closed is eyes and tuned out the roaring of the rift. He searched deep within the recesses of his soul and found the word. His true name and all the power that it held. He whispered it into the rift and opened his eyes to see it closing, stitching itself up, his name like a surgeons thread on a wound. Then there was silence. Perfect silence, like space should be. He climbed the cord back into the TARDIS.

“What happened?” asked Koschei when he got inside. “What did you do?”

“I closed the rift,” he said solemnly as he went to the controls.

“How?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He set the controls and hit the ignition. “I’m taking us home.” And for the first time, he arrived where he intended.


	9. The Doctor and the Master

Theta helped Koschei out of the TARDIS. He was still screaming. Sometimes words, sometimes just sound. He wasn’t making much sense. There was a crowd of officials waiting for them outside. Theta looked around. Of all the places he could have landed, he landed in the Panopticon.

“My TARDIS!” he heard Sestrin yell. He rushed forward. “I should have known it was you who took it!” he yelled at Theta.

“Nevermind your TARDIS,” said Theta, “What about your son?!”

“My son! He’s regenerated! You’ve regenerated my son! You little monster!”

Some councilmen came forward and took Koschei away.

“Theta!” he yelled “THETA! Don’t let them take me!”

\---------------

“What you’ve done is very serious.”

Theta stood in the Castellan’s chambers awaiting judgment, but all he could think about was Koschei.

“I don’t have to tell you that,” continued the Castellan. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be talking to me. You were not directly responsible for your friend’s regeneration, so the charges basically come down to theft of a council member’s TARDIS. Councilman Sestrin is pushing for harsh punishment for you, but the president sees things differently. According to the TARDIS’s records, it was involuntarily pulled to the Medusa Cascade. In light of the fact that you and your friend sealed the rift all on your own--a more than impressive feat--all charges are being dropped. For piloting the TARDIS during this difficult event, you are being awarded your license. Congratulations, son. Graduation is tomorrow. I suggest you get some rest before the ceremony.”

“What’s going to happen to Koschei?” asked Theta, barely having heard the Castellan’s speech.

“He’s suffering from regeneration sickness right now, but I’m sure he will be fine before tomorrow. You will both graduate with honors for sealing the rift.”

Theta didn’t care about graduating. He just wanted Koschei to be okay.

\-----------------

“Have you ever dealt with someone with regeneration sickness before?” asked the nurse.

“No. How long does it last?”

“Up to twenty-four hours. He’s going to be disoriented. He might say things that don’t make a lot of sense to you, and his mood will be erratic.”

“I just want to see him,” said Theta. “I don’t care if he makes sense.”

 

Theta opened the door to Koschei’s room. He was sitting up in bed staring into empty space. “Kos?”

“Theta?” Koschei looked at him questioningly.

Theta smiled and came to sit beside him. “Hi. How are you feeling?”

“I died, Theta,” he whispered. “You killed me.”

It felt like a ten ton weight on Theta’s heart. “No…No, Kos. I tried. I tried to save you!”

“You killed me!”

“No.”

“YOU KILLED ME!”

“Koschei, I--”

“GET OUT!!! GET OUT!!! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!! IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!”

Koschei’s screams faded as Theta ran out of the room and out of the hospital. It felt just like the day he found his father. It felt worse, because this was someone he loved, someone he’d known all his life. He ran to the only person he knew who would understand.

\-----------

K’anpo was sitting under the tree like he always was.

“K’anpo.”

He looked up. “Young Theta? What has happened?”

“It’s Koschei. There was an accident. He regenerated and it’s my fault! He hates me now.”

Theta told his mentor the whole story and when he finished, K’anpo was silent for a moment.

“You say you healed the rift with only your name?”

“Yes.”

“It is incredibly rare that a Time Lord’s name has that much power, and the power a Time Lord’s name has reflects the type of person he is. This shows that you are a great healer. A force for good in the universe.”

“But what about Koschei? What do I do?” Theta pleaded.

“Even a Time Lord cannot change the events in his life that have already occurred. You are a healer. All you can do is try to heal the wounds between you.”

“But he hates me now.”

“He loves you, my boy. He will always love you.”

“But he said he wants to destroy me.”

“The strongest hate can only be born of the strongest love. Even if he does hate you now, it is only because he loves you that it can endure.”

“There must be a way I can change that.”

“I have always believed that you two have been destined to take very different paths. You are so much alike, yet you have very different ideals.”

“Are you saying… Are you saying we’ll be enemies?”

“I cannot say. Whatever happens, you mustn’t give up on him. Only you can turn his hate back into love.”

“Can you help me?”

“I’m afraid I won’t be staying on Gallifrey much longer.”

“What?! But you’ve always been here. You have to stay!”

“Theta, when I met you, I had been planning to leave Gallifrey for some time, but you showed such promise! I had to stay and teach you. Now I’ve taught you all I can. It’s time for you to grow in your own way and it’s time for me to find a new planet with young minds willing to learn.”

Theta felt like his whole world was falling apart. His true love hated him and now his mentor was leaving. “But what do I do?”

“It’s time for you to be someone else’s mentor.”

“I don’t think I’d be very good at that.”

“I think you would be amazing. Changing one mind can change a universe and you have a lot of wisdom to impart.”

“I’m only ninety. I’m barely an adult.”

“Someday you will have the wisdom of years, but already you have wisdom of the heart.”

Theta took his mentor’s withered hand. “Thank you, K’anpo. You’ve changed my life in more ways than you know. I’ll feel good knowing you’re changing someone else’s.”

\-----------------

Theta adjusted his ceremonial robes in the mirror. These things looked so stupid. He eyed the headdress warily. People had been coming up to him all day, asking how he’d sealed the rift, congratulating him. They were calling him The Healer of the Rift. That word again: Healer. Suddenly the door to his dressing room opened and Koschei walked in. “Koschei!”

“Hello, Theta.”

“I thought… I thought you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

“I was confused and sick yesterday,” he said. “I didn’t mean any of that.”

Theta beamed and rushed to hug him, but Koschei held him back. “Now none of that.”

“I’m sorry you regenerated. It was my fault. I should have saved you.”

“No, it was good that I regenerated.”

“What?!”

“It made me realize something. Theta, do you know what regeneration felt like?”

“I imagine it must’ve been traumatic.”

“It felt like fire, Theta. Burning away all my weakness, making me stronger. Each regeneration will be stronger than the last. We’re practically immortal.”

Koschei was starting to scare him. The look in his eyes was so intense.

“My regeneration made me realize our superiority to the rest of the universe more than ever. I want you to join me, Theta.”

“Join you in what?”

“I’m going to search for true immortality and take over this universe. We could rule it together! I want no one else by my side!”

Theta was horrified. “No! No, of course not! What are you saying, Kos?!”

“We’re better than the rest of them! Time Lords aren’t meant to simply watch time and space passively.”

“You’re right,” said Theta, ”But we’re not meant to rule it either! We’re meant to protect it. I want to change things, yes, but in a very different way than you do.”

“Well,” said Koschei calmly. “Then I guess that makes us adversaries.”

There was that weight in Theta’s heart again. “Is there nothing I can say to change your mind? Think about it, Koschei. We could travel time and space together, see the whole of history.”

“What’s the point in seeing something you can’t conquer?”

“This regeneration has changed you.”

“It’s not the regeneration! This is what I’ve always wanted! I just know I’m powerful enough to do it now.”

“This isn’t you. You’re my friend. You’re sweet. You know what’s right and what’s wrong.”

“If that’s what you think, then you never knew me at all.”

“Koschei…please.” Theta’s heart ached. He couldn’t believe this was really happening.

Koschei turned to leave the room. “I’ll see you at the ceremony.” He looked back before he left and added. “I’m eager to see what name you choose.”

\----------

“…and in the name of Rassilon, I present you with this diploma and proclaim you to be a full fledged Time Lord and graduate of Prydonian Academy. Do you wish to choose a new name?”

Theta thought. He looked over the audience and the rest of the graduates. He looked at Koschei in the crowd. Koschei smiled at him wickedly. Was that really the Koschei he knew and loved? Did he ever really know him at all? If he was going to protect this universe from him, he supposed he should pick an appropriate title. He thought about what everyone had been calling him. The Healer. But that couldn’t be his name, it sounded stupid. But this universe did need healing. Lives needed saving. “The Doctor,” he said to the Dean.

“Very well. I name you, the Doctor.” and he handed the Doctor his diploma.

Theta, no, the Doctor took his place among the graduates. Koschei was next. The Doctor thought, as he watched Koschei being ordained, that if the council knew what he had planned, they would never let him graduate.

“Do you wish to choose a new name?” asked the Dean.

“You may call me the Master.”


	10. Epilogue

Sestrin poured his morning glass of mara juice and took it to the table. He read over the morning news as he took his first sip. Suddenly the words on the page began to blur and he felt his throat begin to close up.

“Hello father.” The Master stepped out of a corner on the far side of the room.

“Son!” gasped Sestrin. “Help me.”

“You know, I searched for decades for what killed my mother. Before she died she was nursing a tree in the public gardens. A willow tree, from Earth.”

“Please!”

“You see, what I didn’t know is that she always gave you samples of her plants for your chemistry experiments.” He held up a vial. “This simple little extract from the bark of that tree is what you found. It seems so innocent, doesn’t it? They use it to cure headaches on Earth. Put it in a medicine called aspirin. But to Time Lords?” he tutted. “Absolutely toxic. It even prevents regeneration. You gave mother small doses over the course of a week. Made it look like an illness. That’s the difference between you and me. I’m much more efficient. I laced your glass with a very high concentration. You’ll be dead any second now.”

“Please…I’m you’re father.”

“And I am the Master!” He held his father’s gaze until the life left his eyes and he fell to the ground.

\--------------

The Master watched the funeral proceedings with delight. As he watched the pyre burn he felt the Doctor come up behind him. “Lovely to see you, Doctor.”

“You‘ve regenerated again.”

“Each body is stronger than the last.”

“I know it was you,” he said solemnly.

“The council will never be able to prove it.”

“Speaking of the council, they’ve approached me with regards to you. They’ve noticed the trouble you’ve been causing and deemed me the most appropriate candidate to stop you.”

“So you’re to be their dog now? Whenever I muck about in time and space, they’ll sic you on me? You’d never agree to that.”

“I already have.”

“Really? That’s not the Doctor I know.”

“I have a son to worry about now. I’ve changed.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I thought you deserved fair warning.” And with that, the Doctor left.

\-----------------

The Doctor watched the funeral proceedings trying to maintain composure. The pyres were burning, but there were no bodies on them. His son and daughter-in-law’s bodies were never recovered from the vortex. He gripped Susan’s hand tighter. Beyond the pyre he could see the Master. He put away his surprise that he would risk returning to Gallifrey and knelt down to Susan. “Sweetheart, you go with Shadra back to the house. I’ll join you in a moment.”

“What are you doing here?” he asked when he reached the Master.

“I heard about your loss. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t Mock me! He was my son!”

“I’m not mocking you,” he said sincerely. “I’m truly sorry. I wouldn’t wish the loss of a child on anyone.”

The Doctor was taken aback. For a moment it was like he was Koschei again. “Why are you saying this?”

“We were friends once. If I can’t offer condolences to an old friend in a time like this, then I am truly a monster.”

The Doctor held his gaze for a moment and memories of better times flashed through his head. “Get off of Gallifrey before someone sees you. There’s talk of locking you up and forced regeneration.”

“Until we meet again, Doctor.”

\------------

The Doctor ran with Susan’s hand in his. They needed to find somewhere to hide. His uncle will have recovered from his regeneration now and fingered him as the culprit. It was self defense, but it was his word against Modrem’s and no one would believe him. They ducked into a shipyard and found themselves in a room full of ancient TARDISes ready to be decommissioned. The Doctor heard noises outside and ushered Susan into an old Type 40 TARDIS.

“We should be safe in here.”

“Oh, Grandfather, look at this old thing. Isn’t it charming?”

The Doctor looked around. It would be a travesty to decommission this. He touched the consol and it came alive. He felt a bond forming with it, no, her. “She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever known.”

Suddenly he raced around the controls.

“Grandfather, what are you doing?”

“We’re leaving.”

Susan was silent for a moment. Then she said, “We can never come home again, can we?”

“Maybe someday, my dear. Maybe someday.” It was strange. All those years chasing the Master and now he was the fugitive. Maybe next time they met they could find common ground in that. Now, though, they were off, into time and space. And nothing would ever be the same again.

\--- THE END ---


End file.
